Jokes Only a Golfer Would Understand

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from an apparent heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly. "They found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here," she asks feebly?
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson, "You are spectacular. Your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"
Michelson replied, "The holes are numbered"

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her, hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times. Just put me down for a five."

A golfer teed up his ball on the tee of the longest par 5 hole on the course, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The golfer replied, "Got here in two on a par five, didn't I ?"

This gal comes into the pro shop at the country club.
The Pro: Can I help you?
Gal: Yes, I was just out on the course and I was stung by a very large bee. I don't know what to do about it.
The Pro: Where were you stung?
Gal: Between the first and second holes.