Yesterday at the Doctor's Office

When my doctor asked me about what I did yesterday, I told him about my day:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from
a mountain lion in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in
a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an
aggressive rattlesnake"

Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"...

"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."